As Jim Putman and I mention in The Revolutionary Disciple, pride destroys discipleship at every level. That’s why it’s important for disciples of Jesus to admit any pride they might have in their lives—because we cannot submit to the lordship of Jesus and remain prideful. This is true for every disciple, no matter how long we’ve been on the journey of discipleship. As the saying goes: “The first step is admitting you have a problem.” This includes beginning to seek assistance. This can be challenging, though.
Pride is sometimes difficult to detect in ourselves—especially without help.
That’s why we’ve put together this exercise, which offers questions to help you process areas of potential growth in regard to pride. Note: You can download a printable PDF version of this exercise here. If you find yourself overwhelmed by what you discover as you work through this exercise, take heart because Christ shows us how to walk the path of humility. Read through the questions below for each sphere of discipleship and take the courageous and humble step of asking God, “Lord, do I struggle with pride here?” As you process these challenging questions, if you’re using the printable version, start by writing in the circle for each sphere one area of growth. If you’re just reading this on your web browser, jot down some notes on your phone or on some paper. First, though, read through the questions directly below about serving, submitting, listening, and confessing—the four characteristics we outline in Chapter 4 of the book. The goal with this whole exercise is to help you be honest about where you currently are, so that after you recognize any problem areas, you can take the next step toward healing and humility. In the end, we hope that you’ll be able to make more progress along your discipleship journey.
Start Thinking About What Humility Looks Like
These questions will help you think about what pride might look like in your life. You can prayerfully read through these, but you don’t need to write anything down until you go through the spheres’ questions.Serving
- How well do I serve people in my life?
- Do I serve regardless of recognition I might receive? Or do I tend to serve only when I’ll be noticed?
- Do I serve from a willing heart? Or out of obligation?
Submitting
- Whom has God placed in authority over me?
- How well do I submit to them when they ask something of me directly or indirectly?
- If someone asked those in authority over me whether or not I am humble, what would they say?
Listening
- How well do I take advice and listen to others?
- Do I ask for input from others when I need help?
- Would the people in my life say I’m a good listener?
Confessing
- Do I readily admit when I’ve made a mistake?
- Do I regularly confess my sins to God and to other people?
- Who in my life knows my deepest struggles?
Identify Pride in the Five Spheres
Now that you’ve primed the pumps about potential pride in your life, the following questions will help you think through what pride might look like for you in each sphere of discipleship. Be honest as you assess where you currently stand. The only path to healing is through honesty. Record for each sphere one area of pride you’re struggling with right now. Then at the end, you’ll have the opportunity to list one action step for each sphere.Sphere 1: Abiding in Christ
- Have I fully submitted myself to Christ to seek obedience in every area of life?
- Do I believe I can experience intimacy with God without being obedient to God?
- Do I deny or minimize my sin when it’s exposed? Or do I confess it to God?
- Am I actively seeking to obey God through his Word and by his Spirit?
- Is my life generally characterized by serving God’s agenda or mine?
Sphere 2: The Church Sphere
- Do I think to myself, I don’t need the church; I’m good with God on my own?
- Do I follow the leaders at my church when they ask me to join a discipleship group?
- Do I regularly serve the people in my church?
- Do I seek advice from those in the church who are older than me?
- Have I been discipled? If not, have I asked anyone to disciple me?
- Have I spoken ill of the leadership of my church in slight or subtle ways?
- When I’m leading or teaching, do I serve people in practical ways as I do these?
Sphere 3: The Home Sphere
- [Husbands] Do I lead my wife with gentleness and a humble heart? Or do I tend to “lord” my authority over her?
- [Wives] Do I humbly submit to the leadership of my husband? Or do I tend to do things my own way?
- [Parents] Am I kind and patient with my kids? Or do I tend to lead my kids harshly?
- Do I regularly confess my mistakes and sins to my spouse and kids?
- Do I get advice about how to raise my kids? Or do I rely on my own understanding?
- [All] Do I show honor to my parents in word and deed even though I’ve left home or started a family of my own?
Sphere 4: The World Sphere
- At work, do I submit to those over me? Or do I subtly rebel against my boss or manager in small ways?
- Do I readily admit my mistakes or blunders to my coworkers—and even my supervisor? Or do I tend to cover them up?
- Do I serve others in the workplace?
- Am I doing everything my boss asks of me with a humble heart? Or do I operate from a place of pride?
- As I live in the world, do I obey the laws of the land? Or do I operate as I see fit?
- In areas of play, hobbies, or sports, do I find myself regularly acting in anger or rebellion against the rules of the game or the authorities? What do I teach my kids about authority in sports and other activities?
Sphere 5: The Spiritual Realm
- Do I believe there’s a spiritual battle going on around me?
- Do I guard myself against the attacks of the enemy through prayer, confession, and accountability? Or do I tend to fight battles on my own?
- Do I tell those around me when I’m feeling spiritually weak or keep it to myself?
- Do I allow others to encourage me when I need it?
- Do I speak words of encouragement to others who are under spiritual attack or experiencing isolation from God’s people?
- Have I allowed Satan to gain a foothold in my family life due to my pride?
- Do I separate my work life and my politics from my walk with Christ?
Take Action Toward Humility
Next, take action to overcome areas of pride in your life. Prayerfully read our ideas for action for each sphere to get you thinking, and then next to it write down just one action.Sphere 1: Abiding in Christ
God, what’s one action step you would like me to take toward humility in my relationship with you?- Decide to be a disciple of Jesus, not just a convert.
- Learn to say, “God, I need your help.”
- Confess your sins to Christ aloud and completely.
- Seek intimacy with God by pursuing wholehearted obedience him.
- Other: ________________________.
Sphere 2: The Home Sphere
God, what’s one action step you would like me to take toward humility in the church sphere?- Commit to a particular church, and then stay there until you’re sent out.
- Submit to the requests and heart of your leadership at your church.
- Find a way to serve others practically in your church.
- Ask for advice from an older, wiser disciple at your church.
- Come under a reliable and trustworthy disciple-maker and submit to their process of disciple-making for a season.
- Readily and appropriately admit to those around you when you’ve made a mistake or sinned.
- Other: ________________________.
Sphere 3: The Church Sphere
God, what’s one action step you would like me to take toward humility in the home sphere?- Men, love your wife through humble service.
- Wives, humbly submit to your husband’s leadership.
- Honor your father and mother by listening to their requests and meeting those requests as best you can.
- Do not cause your children to become unnecessarily angry; be patient with their weaknesses and sin.
- Readily and regularly confess your weaknesses, blinders, mistakes, errors, and sins to your spouse and kids.
- Other: ________________________.
Sphere 4: The World Sphere
God, what’s one action step you would like me to take toward humility in the world sphere?- Truly listen to those at work in a leadership position over you and follow what they’re asking of you with all your heart, regardless of your opinion about the matter (assuming it’s not sinful).
- Readily and regularly confess your mistakes at work to those above, under, and alongside you on the “organizational chart.”
- Find ways to serve others at work.
- Obey the laws of the land where you live, work, and play (unless it’s sinful).
- Other: ________________________.
Sphere 5: The Spiritual Realm
God, what’s one action step you would like me to take toward humility in the spiritual realm?- Acknowledge the spiritual battle around you.
- Submit yourself fully to Christ as head over you in every area of life.
- Let people in your church know when you’re struggling spiritually so they can encourage you.
- Speak truth from Scripture to those around you who are discouraged.
- Renounce sin, rebellion, or Satan’s hold in your life.
- Pray on all occasions about everything.
- Other: ________________________.
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